So today is not a good day. Not a good day for that little devil – or as some refer to her “Wolfie”. She is harping hard at me today and in my head I hate that I have put myself in this situation. Some days are significantly easier than others and today is not one of those days. I think about how bad of a day it has been and how amazing a glass or bottle or whatever would be when I get home. Maybe it’s because I got into an argument last night and still feeling uncertain if its resolved completely I wish I could drink to forget about what had happened. I know that this is what wine does to me and while writing right now I again realize that I use wine as a scapegoat. I use wine to get away from how I feel in order to bury it, push it aside, and not deal with it. This is not a good idea, yes I know. And no I will not drink. I will face going home – sober – ugh. As awful as that sounds right now. Don’t really have anything else to say today… other than… I WANT WINE!