As I think back to the day yesterday I can happily say I craved cheesecake more than I craved wine!!! Mind you – I ALWAYS had something to drink by my side. I went through 3 liters of lime Perrier sparkling water just to be sure at no time was I left with the thought – “what do I want to drink? I’m bored, do I want to get wine?” I think for me – that will be the key.
I depended so much on wine at nights and on weekends because I drink 3-4 liters of regular water at work the last thing I wanted was more fucking water when I got home. Well last month when I tried to cut back on drinking during the week my boyfriend was very good about buying me other things to divert me from drinking wine. And then there it was – Pellegrino and lime Perrier. To what I now see as my saving grace. As I sit here I only have 1 liter left so yes I’ll have to make a trip to the store – but for once – buying wine is not on my mind. And that, is a great feeling. I have spent basically this entire week by myself and I know that if I can get through this weekend, being alone at home, on my couch, and not drink. That I will be ok and I will get through this. I made it through yesterday – no doubt it in my mind I will make it through today. Which will be Day 7 by the way!!!!!!! Bet your ass I’m still counting lol. (I look forward to the day that I don’t know the exact number of days I’ve been sober so I have to look at my sober clock though!!)
I am still extremely nervous to mention it to anyone. For fear of “relapsing” (I hate that word….. Maybe….. Having a slight mishap? I don’t know. Ill paw on that one.). But I know I must say something to someone. To have support at home and when I decide to get back into my social life – only booze free. I opted into Belle’s 100 day challenge, and I must be honest. I still can’t fathom 100 days sober!!!!!! Not the least bit. So for me. One day at a time will have to do.