Cant Win

I feel like this whole process is a lose lose at this point.  When I am drinking I am mad at myself each morning about drinking the night before – remorseful even.  So I spend my days dwelling on the facts that occurred the night before (or what I can remember of them).  And now that I am trying to quit drinking – all I think about is drinking.  Its one bad thing or another.  I don’t want to be remorseful and I don’t want to waste away my days thinking about drinking either.  Lose.  Lose.