Today and yesterday have been the hardest thus far. That sober stay-cation while relaxing may not have been the best option at this point. It through me into a realm which I was not ready for. Two full days of spare time with no plans to pass the time. Just to sit. I even convinced myself at one point I could drink while I was away and come back to LA then continue this journey. My bf then referred to me as speaking and acting similar to a heroine addict. 😑 I was like “ah shit”. So I’m back in LA now. Still sober. But I’m really not enjoying it. I was on a brief high of “yay sobriety – woohoo lets do this”. Now all I really want to do is just say fuck it. Fuck all of it.