addiction, alcohol, experience, recovery, sobriety, the middle

Alive and Kickin

As I wrote about on Friday I was feeling over all pretty good about the weekend.  I did have those moments of, “I cant wait for wine” or “YES I am off work time to drink.”  Actually that happened a few more times than I anticipated.  However, I can happily say at no point did it get passed only those small thoughts.  I am honestly kind of thrown off where this amount of acceptance came from.  How last Monday my mind just shifted and now here I am. I still catch myself saying, “what are you going to do when mom comes to visit in 3 weeks?”  And then I stop.  Say no no, don’t worry about that now.  That is so far away.  I still haven’t gotten to thinking or accepting that this is forever, so for now day 30 is my goal and I truly feel unlike any other time that 30 days is achievable.

In my recovery  book I read that you have to start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to realized your true potential and to find your inner self.  That pushing for me will be socializing without drinking.  I bailed on every friend I have this weekend for fear I could not handle being with them and not drinking.  (This is the one thing I learned from my last attempt.  I even remember writing, “I went out too soon and should have just surrounded myself with my BF until I had more sober time under my belt”)  So this time – that is exactly what I am doing.  Enjoying some me time, some boyfriend time, and some self-reflection time.

One Week Down – Three To Go

10 thoughts on “Alive and Kickin

  1. I congratulate you on your efforts. I know first hand, its not easy. Time to reflect and move forward without a glass of vino. Life is great and we can appreciate it better without the feeling of shame, guilt and wine. You go girl!!

    1. Hi there lady I feel the same way as you and I am trying each day. Much love and light for your journey

  2. You can do this! Whenever I start feeling anxious about some future date/occasion, I pause and remember that Future Me will be the one dealing with it. She’ll have a better perspective, so no need for me to worry today. It’s a little silly, but it helps bring me back to the present. Keep taking good care of yourself. I hope tomorrow is a good day for you. 🙂

  3. You are doing awesome!
    I’ve been working my way through a GREAT book, The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction: A Guide to Coping with the Grief, Stress and Anger that Trigger Addictive Behaviors.

    One of the biggest lessons it taught very early on was being in the here and now. I have HUGE issues with that in every aspect of my life. I am always worried about something on the horizon rather than just taking care of what is in front of me right here and now. I’m not a huge fan of AA, but One Day at a Time sure as hell fits. Don’t worry about not drinking in 3 weeks. Worry about today.

    Congrats! Feel free to email me anytime you wanna chat. (Can you see my email address? Let me know if not.)

  4. I have difficulty with situations where I am with friends or family as well . I can do very well on my own and with my husband, but as soon as others enter into the picture, I am doomed. I too have an event coming up at the end of the month and am really worried about it. i’ll be tuning in to your blog for some encouragement.

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