As I wrote about on Friday I was feeling over all pretty good about the weekend. I did have those moments of, “I cant wait for wine” or “YES I am off work time to drink.” Actually that happened a few more times than I anticipated. However, I can happily say at no point did it get passed only those small thoughts. I am honestly kind of thrown off where this amount of acceptance came from. How last Monday my mind just shifted and now here I am. I still catch myself saying, “what are you going to do when mom comes to visit in 3 weeks?” And then I stop. Say no no, don’t worry about that now. That is so far away. I still haven’t gotten to thinking or accepting that this is forever, so for now day 30 is my goal and I truly feel unlike any other time that 30 days is achievable.
In my recovery book I read that you have to start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to realized your true potential and to find your inner self. That pushing for me will be socializing without drinking. I bailed on every friend I have this weekend for fear I could not handle being with them and not drinking. (This is the one thing I learned from my last attempt. I even remember writing, “I went out too soon and should have just surrounded myself with my BF until I had more sober time under my belt”) So this time – that is exactly what I am doing. Enjoying some me time, some boyfriend time, and some self-reflection time.
One Week Down – Three To Go