addiction, alcohol, experience, recovery, sobriety, the middle

Night One

So it went as to be expected I think. With my anxiety on full gears all day I knew that when I got home Id have to do something out of my norm to relax. Walked in my house door, made a cup of green tea, grabbed my recovery book, High: A Party Girls Guide to Peace, and crawled into bed. Somehow when I’m in bed I don’t think about drinking so much so it was nice to turn my brain off for a bit. 

Three cups of tea and 60 pages later I decided to add a new method to my recovery. I figured what I had tried in the past never fully worked so adding in new “tools” couldn’t hurt. I downloaded a podcast from The Bubble Hour. This one was “Early Recovery”.  It was great quite honestly. Hearing about these other women’s stories and how I truly could relate to them was incredible. They talked a lot about post acute withdrawal symptoms (PAWS) and how to cope with them. One they touched on was insomnia (which I clearly have as I’ve been up since 230 and it’s now 5 as I write this).  Night sweats (also experiencing as I’m blasting my AC on 60 degrees). I remember my last unsuccessful yet closest attempt at quitting drinking when I wasn’t fighting insomnia I was sound asleep, but the vivid nightmares were insane. I would feel my body forcing myself awake only so they would end. I don’t look forward to those again.

So all in all. I think day and night one was manageable. Not great. But manageable. 

12 thoughts on “Night One

  1. PAWS is no joke, so you’re wise to read up on it. Of course, reading about it and experiencing it are two different things. I would be remiss if I didn’t encourage you to tell a doctor if you have symptoms you can’t manage; there’s some medicine that’s very effective in treating acute withdrawal (which I suspect you’re in now if last night was the first night). Rehab’s not for everyone, and I’m not advising you do that. It worked for me after failed attempts at stopping on my own. The nurse at rehab gave me Librium, which eased the symptoms and acted as an anti-convulsant in case I had a seizure (which I didn’t anticipate, but it happened to a family member, so I was worried. Of course, he was in his sixties and drank heavily for most of his life).

    I’m pulling for you.

    1. Thank you so much Robert. I have to say – a sober bad nights sleep is still way better than a drunk good night sleep. I will keep my options open pending how it continues! Thank you!! xo

  2. Well done for getting through the first night…! The vivid nightmares are a killer aren’t they. I’m only on Day 3 but my head is starting to feel a little clearer I think. Hang in there x

  3. I am so, so proud of you. I’m on Day 27. After slowly ramping down my drinking and getting 1-2 days at a time, I finally went for it. It’s really hard work and will continue to be hard, but I feel so, so much better.

    If I can do this, you can do it. You are worth it!

    1. Ahhhhh yay that’s so amazing!!!! Congratulations! I have a wonderful feeling about this attempt. Unlike any other so far. I truly have high hopes! Keep going CB!!!

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