addiction, alcohol, recovery, sobriety, the middle

Weekend End.

I sit here and am looking back at the weekend that has passed. I had some positivity and some hesitation as of Friday. All in all – the feelings still carried over to the weekend.

Saturday my boyfriend was off work which was lovely and we had a business/personal lunch thing to attend. That was also great. We debated going to meet with friends after. He said he was tired – I said I didn’t want to drink. So we came home for the rest of the day. Found the show The Strain (it’s great and addicting if u haven’t seen it. However you have to like the walking dead-ish type shows, it’s quite gruesome) and watched 5 episodes of that. By the end of the day – Saturday was good! Didn’t contemplate drinking too much which was a nice change of pace especially for a Saturday.

Now onto Sunday. Sunday was a different story. I woke up early and kept busy: did laundry, unpacked, cleaned, things were going good. Then I ended my chores. Wanting to drink hit me like a ton of bricks. I stood up at least 2-3 times convinced I could have some wine. As I stepped into the kitchen. I stopped. Made tea and sat back down. I didn’t do it, but boy did I want to. Some people would probably feel happy – proud even. I didn’t and I still don’t. I feel sad and bummed out. All I wanted was wine and I can’t have it.

4 thoughts on “Weekend End.

  1. Count that as a victory. You won another round. They will get easier and easier the more rounds you win. Stay strong. Be grateful for the enjoyable weekend you’ve had. It didn’t turn to shit. It didn’t get messy. You can remember it. Win win win. Keep winning. You can do it.

  2. All I can tell you is that it gets easier, I swear to you it does. When I used to feel that bad, I went to bed. It was easier not to think about drinking when I was lying down with a good book in my cozy bed in my pj’s. It worked, every time.
    Great job not giving in.
    Stay Strong

  3. I wish I could tell you, “It gets easier!! :),” but I am in your same spot so I don’t have the foresight to say that. However, I CAN say that I totally understand how you feel. 100%. It does suck right now, but you absolutely, positively cannot lose sight of what you decided to make this change.

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