addiction, alcohol, recovery, sobriety, the middle

A Little Up – A Little Down

As the I sit here on Friday – my day 4 I remember where I was the last time I was semi successful at abstaining from alcohol (a total of 15 days.)  I wrote a post about how terrified I was that the weekend was coming.  I could not even begin to imagine how I could get through 2 days completely sober and I was an emotional, nervous wreck.

Well, I can happily say that at this go around, I feel much more comfortable with the weekend coming.  One of my good girlfriends knows that something is up with me as I bailed on a birthday party already this weekend so she nicely invited me over for wine.  As it was typed into my phone “oh well I am actually taking a break from drinking, but I will come see you and chat!” I stopped.  No.  That will not be the outcome.  Not with her or anyone for that matter at this point.  Her and I have spent a ridiculous amount of time drinking/drunk together.  Way more time than sober that’s for sure.  So even me putting out there that I will not drink – I will.  Or at-least be tempted and I am not ready for that reality and that internal struggle.

I feel a little in between today.  I feel good with my progression and my ability to acknowledge the potential issue if I were to go.  However, not so good that I know I will have to quarantine myself in the coming weeks to get some time under my belt and to come to terms with all of this change happening in my life.

4 thoughts on “A Little Up – A Little Down

  1. I’m having the same realisation that I’m going to have to become a bit of a hermit for a while. Recognising the risk factors is the key I think in the early days.. Well done on day 4!

  2. Congrats on Day 4!! Staying away from temptations during the very early stages is a good strategy. But don’t look at it as something you’re depriving yourself of, look at it as an investment in your sobriety. Watch a great movie at home, cook yourself an awesome, healthy dinner, do a face mask and paint your nails or whatever it is you do that makes you feel pampered. Just don’t sit at home feeling like you’re missing out!! In the morning when you wake up without a hangover go for a walk/run/to the gym and really appreciate your decision not to drink. It reinforces sobriety as your new way of life. Good luck 🙂

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