As the I sit here on Friday – my day 4 I remember where I was the last time I was semi successful at abstaining from alcohol (a total of 15 days.) I wrote a post about how terrified I was that the weekend was coming. I could not even begin to imagine how I could get through 2 days completely sober and I was an emotional, nervous wreck.
Well, I can happily say that at this go around, I feel much more comfortable with the weekend coming. One of my good girlfriends knows that something is up with me as I bailed on a birthday party already this weekend so she nicely invited me over for wine. As it was typed into my phone “oh well I am actually taking a break from drinking, but I will come see you and chat!” I stopped. No. That will not be the outcome. Not with her or anyone for that matter at this point. Her and I have spent a ridiculous amount of time drinking/drunk together. Way more time than sober that’s for sure. So even me putting out there that I will not drink – I will. Or at-least be tempted and I am not ready for that reality and that internal struggle.
I feel a little in between today. I feel good with my progression and my ability to acknowledge the potential issue if I were to go. However, not so good that I know I will have to quarantine myself in the coming weeks to get some time under my belt and to come to terms with all of this change happening in my life.