I have said “Day 1” before – and I can never stick with it. So this time, today is just a day. A day of not drinking. I keep falling off the wagon and watching it pass by me. Sometimes for weeks and sometimes for months. The voices of “you will get through this and you will be ok.” “You aren’t an alcoholic, you can control this, just one – maybe two!” cloud my head all day everyday. I will always remember a follower of my blog left a comment that read “drinking isn’t living. you can live without drinking.” And I know a part of me believes that and a part of me hates that (the addict part).
I have said to my boyfriend and friends that I want to “cut back” because i cant fathom saying out loud “I want to quit”. And even with saying “cut back” they all still laugh at me and say “YAAHHHH RIGHT!!!!” I know if they knew how I truly felt they would be more supportive. I am still just trying so hard to do this on my own, facing the denial, the addiction, and the acceptance is a lot harder then I ever had imagined. One minute you go “there was my ah-ha moment, I’m done.” And two days later you are back at the bottle again.
Ugh… just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.
9 thoughts on “Saying Day 1 Makes Me Nervous”
Good for you! Because any day without drinking is a good day! Hugs. You can do this!
Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. I’ll be following your progress and sending good vibes your way. You can do this 🙂
Nice post. Good luck to you. Perhaps you can just say “Day two” two days in a row?
Oh yes, I know all about Day Ones! I never think it’s a new beginning, just another step in the continuum. Building new synapses in your brain.
I too know about day ones! And, like you I keep trying. It is great that you never, ever give up. We can do,this. If we fall off, we just get right back up and keep trying.
As long as you keep trying it will work. It’s only when you stop trying that it cannot. 50 day 1’s add up to 50 days of not drinking … whether you get to any day 2’s are a bonus.
great way to look at it! Thank you for the feedback! Today is day 8… not much but its better than nothing 🙂
that’s over a week. That’s awesome
I SO get this.