addiction, alcohol, recovery, sobriety, the middle

Weak in the Knees

So today is not a good day.  Not a good day for that little devil – or as some refer to her “Wolfie”.  She is harping hard at me today and in my head I hate that I have put myself in this situation.  Some days are significantly easier than others and today is not one of those days.  I think about how bad of a day it has been and how amazing a glass or bottle or whatever would be when I get home.  Maybe it’s because I got into an argument last night and still feeling uncertain if its resolved completely I wish I could drink to forget about what had happened.  I know that this is what wine does to me and while writing right now I again realize that I use wine as a scapegoat.  I use wine to get away from how I feel in order to bury it, push it aside, and not deal with it.  This is not a good idea, yes I know.  And no I will not drink.  I will face going home – sober – ugh.  As awful as that sounds right now.  Don’t really have anything else to say today… other than… I WANT WINE!

10 thoughts on “Weak in the Knees

  1. Oh I know this feeling .. sounds trite but if u cam resolve the argument or accept there’s no resolution it may help ….

  2. Wine always feels like the answer, but it rarely is. Know that those feelings – while awful and overwhelming – they pass.

    Feel free to email if you need to talk!

  3. Aww… Hang in there… Pamper yourself, treat yourself (not with wine!). Watch a movie, take a bath, devour some chocolate. I don’t advocate cruelty to animals, but right now wolfie needs a good kick!

  4. Hey, just gone through your blog and I think you are doing really well. I too, suffer from the evil curse of, want a drink, need a drink, have a drink. I haven’t been able to kick it completely, but I applaud you for doing it. Keep up the good work. 🙂 X

    1. Thank you so much lordmikle! It is not an easy battle I can tell you that much. I am sure you will get there when you are ready… I have gone back and fourth a lot so I know the feeling! 🙂 Thanks for following!

  5. I know that feeling well. I’m glad your day is better now. I just got invited out for ‘drinks’ after a show I’m seeing tonight, and it brought that craving right back… wanting a glass of wine. I’m resolved not to have any though. Today is my first day.

    1. Good for you Lauredann. I literally have to go day by day – “Today I will be sober. Today I will not drink”. Everyday. hahaha. And good for you for going out! I have not ventured out yet since I stopped drinking :-/. So I applaud you!

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